Strange Fruit.

I know you tired hunh?
You been a target too long you setting fire to one
That wasn't you at AutoZone was it?
I spotted one, undercover setting the trap for us, pouring gas on the tension like the dumb ass Potus
But u-n-i-t-y that’s a unity fueling me
King Latifah they're beating us brutally
Callous over time police malice nothing new to we, we march ‘cause they're abusing we
I'm not condoning lootin B but you can see why we're pissed you're silent you're complicit
The same ones quiet was wilin' when Kaepernick was kneelin’
Maybe we needed this time for the fact that it's revealing
I'm 'bout to blow my ceiling ask me what it's like to be a black man?
It's like before leaving the crib you gotta figure how you dressing
How you wear your hair, walk and your facial expression
Could be the reason Karen or some pig say you aggressive
And try to justify setting you up for the excessive
Force but it's really 'cause your skin dark complected
Hear passion in your voice, they make calls think they're reffin'
Yeah Drew our grand daddies was there too
Fought that war came home and couldn't even eat their food in the same room as the white people they fought to protect wanna know what’s disrespect? There the proof
I understand for you this shit's a breeze
You ain’t the only one with lack of empathy disease
It ain't just academic if it ain't legal to read
So when I tellin you that the story ain’t the same for me it ain't the same fool
Flag dripping black blood it'll stain you
That third verse of anthem needs to change too
You know the part that says no one can save the slave from the gloom of the grave fool?
That's saying we'll not only degrade you
And cage you police may shoot but stand there and be grateful
Kaepernick says injustice we'll just say the troops 2020 same lynching different made noose

ig: @justthewinner

There's A Market For Ignorance.

There's a market for watching black people ruin their lives in front of the world. They'll televise that. They'll stream that. They'll repost that. They'll retweet that. I wonder why.

There's a market for imitating the styles created by the genius ingenuity of women of color from the ghetto. Yeah...first they'll ridicule that, so it's stigmatized and criticized by society when women of color do it originally...then eventually they'll steal that, rename that, upload that, monetize that, and possibly even end up on the cover of Forbes magazine with a watered down, gentrified version of that. But they won't pay women of color from the ghetto a dime...or even an ounce of homage for that. But shhh. No one's supposed to pick up on that. You know, women of color aren't supposed to know their worth.

There's a market for ignorance particularly when displayed by those in historically disenfranchised communities. America loves to watch black people lose...talent down the drain like dirty Flint water. They love to see it. Self-hatred is encouraged. Not only are the men applauded for glorifying toxic male traits and objectifying women, but ironically, women are too. Sex has a price tag in a dollar amount...like selfish ass men were ever going to have a problem with that concept. Not at all. That's perfect for a creep. "Keep chasing that bag baby. We'll gladly pay for it". What they won't do is grow out of immature, adolescent tendencies of assuming people, especially women, are purposed solely for their convenience and self-indulgence. Toxic masculinity thrives when a boy who reaches a man's age refuses to rid himself of childish expectations and behaviors, thus growing into depraved habits fueled by an inflated ego. It is also validated by those who encourage this mentality and/or discourage the males who purge themselves of it.

Rape culture is emblematic of a deep misconception of life and what freedom should be by the society that breeds it. Where purpose is unknown, abuse is ultimately inevitable. There becomes a market for abuse when respect is no longer expected while disrespect is the norm, and the masses don't even care to consider why. Ignorance is easy, blissful, charming and often hilarious. Fear often shows up disguised as comfortability and accessorized in familiarity. In essence, we've gotten so comfortable losing, we assume it must be winning.

They say "if it don't feel like 90's r&b then I don't want it" because it sounds cool in a caption, but often times they don't want that type of it. Something real and long-lasting takes far too much effort and patience. Ain't no shortcuts to authenticity and genuineness. That type of it doesn't comply with streaming culture's addiction to chasing the latest quick thrill. It has been replaced with heartless, detached energy, content with wasting time chasing crack-quick pleasures, never relating on a solid level or building intimacy by finding a common thought process. The vibe is completely surface, watered down and stepped on.

But shhh. Speaking an unpopular opinion that challenges us to dig deeper, be greater, and realize how critical our relative, social interdependency to one another is to our families, communities, ecosystems and planet, and how that very concept is being starved daily like a tortured prisoner of war won't get you them likes. Shit, it might even get you cancelled...in these internet streets.

Maybe we've been hoodwinked into thinking that race is THE defining social construct, when in reality racism only exists because there's a market for it. Maybe the majority (people of all colors) remaining poor, low self-esteemed crabs in the proverbial bucket, programmed to be overly critical of one another, placing clearance-level price tags on our divine gifts, feeling predisposed to doing ignorant shit that divides us and being encouraged to be proud of doing it provides that much more financial gain for the greedy, privileged, wicked, toxic, demonic, slave driving elite whose main addiction is hoarding power and avoiding any accountability for historical transgressions they continuously profit off of. I know that was a run-on sentence but that particular grammatical error just hit different.

Big pharma, private prisons, cash-hungry state governments with their corrupt judicial systems and many more parasites profit off the pain of the people. It makes perfect sense when connecting the dots that the same companies that financially gain from sickness, lack of education, criminality, violence and even death, just might purposely play an integral part in causing these horrible things to happen in our communities. What if it turns out that the oppression of the poor is not the result of a broken system, but rather an established tradition carefully designed to continue the cycle of poverty. It's not far-fetched to infer that companies who supply drugs that subside the effects of cancer might actually collaborate with food companies to distribute food containing cancer-causing agents. All it takes is a few greedy psychopaths and a boardroom.

The last few months of quarantining have reminded so many of us just how much we love gathering in crowds to party and celebrate. But what are we gathering to celebrate? Being professional time wasters? Being poor role models for the youth who depend on us to lead the way? Being people who are too lazy in our selfish bubbles to see the bigger picture? To celebrate ignoring those who paid the ultimate sacrifice so that we could have the freedom to post dumb shit through a smart phone? To feed our addiction to fame and/or just some regular, plain ass attention? What are we toasting to now? What are we dancing for now? Or is the actual forgetting of ourselves what we're celebrating? Because if so, we're trapping ourselves. We're making us vulnerable to being pimped out by those who love our styles, food, jokes, fashion, music, athleticism, academia, and every spice we bring to the table, but don't love us. We're opening the gate for the same ones who plan and plot on us never having a seat at the very table we so willingly and diligently serve.

In this capitalistic life, we don't get what we deserve. We get what we leverage through negotiation. We're empowered to win the very second we're willing to not only dream, but to hope, to have the audacity, to unite, to stop settling, to plan, to work viciously in the spirit of our ancestors, to persevere with the intent of receiving not one penny less than we are worth. Until then, we lose. And as long as we allow that, there will always be a market for it.

As always, love, peace, and hair grease.

Emotions... & How They Affect Our Realities.

It's crazy how emotions fluctuate based on circumstance. We can receive one negative text and feel like life is tragic, then receive a compliment ten seconds later and it change our entire mood to feel like life's not bad at all.

Because of this peculiar effect, it's extremely important that we as humans encourage and lend kind words to others on a consistent basis. I say the word "lend" specifically because relationships of any kind should be reciprocal. It's just as imperative that we surround ourselves with people who lend us encouraging words as well. Creating an environment in which we instill reassurance, amping each other up to be our best selves can yield positive emotions, confidence and boldness in us all, which ultimately aid us in maintaining energetic, motivated attitudes and making solid life decisions.

The opposite is just as true. Allowing people to remain in our inner circles who devalue and degrade us triggering our negative emotions can lead us down a path of self-doubt lined with thoughts of giving up. My heart goes out to children trapped in environments where they rarely receive positive reinforcement or any form of advocacy for that matter, but instead receive words of hostility and resentment. That abuse too often causes bitterness and emotional trauma resulting in what is perceived as "bad" behavior. But ironically this is no different than how we adults respond to complete and utter bullshit. And it needs to be recognized instead of being downplayed. I mean, really, think about it. How can we thoroughly assess someone else's pain perception from the outside looking in? Impossible.

Understanding that our reality is the result of our environment whether positive or negative is only half of the equation. One of my many basketball coaches used to constantly reiterate to us players that "10% of life is what you go through. The other 90% is how you handle it". I'm not sure how accurate those numbers are, but I got the gist. The other side of the coin from how our environment influences our emotions is how WE handle our emotions apart from any outside influences. What happens when we're put in pressure situations, our support systems aren't around and the negativity just won't shut up? Do we cave in and allow negative emotions to take control, trigger our insecurities and cause us to make moves we'll ultimately regret? Or do we speak words of encouragement, peace and love into our own spirits allowing our minds to unlock themselves and strategize our way through it? Our choice.

In order to achieve the internal fortitude needed to control and channel our emotions in a healthy way we must create a firm foundation for our thoughts to stand on. Don't get me wrong. Emotions are extremely valuable and should be treated as such, but they are what we affectionately (or in my case, unaffectionately) refer to as "bandwagon fans". We all know 'em. Whatever team in a given sport is winning consistently, that's THEIR team. Emotions are similar in that whatever energy, good or bad, is thriving at the time, that's THEIR team. If someone gives us a lousy evaluation at our job or a poor grade in school, negative emotions usually show up with face paint and posters. If we receive a promotion at our job or an A in class, positive emotions likely show up just as hyped.

The point is, though emotions are highly valuable, they aren't meant to be leaders. Making decisions based on them rather than our thought processes is no different than treating a harmful infection based solely on the symptoms it causes. Pain medicines may reduce headache and cough drops may reduce cough, but they won't kill the infection. Only anti-bodies will. Emotions are symptoms, there to remind us something is right or wrong. But the solution to problematic ones isn't in catering solely to the symptoms. It's in getting to the root of the problem, then strategizing to solve it, which are spiritual and mental tasks.

I wonder how many people are sitting in a penitentiary cell today simply for having one specific moment they didn't handle their emotions well...or how many people lay in a hospital bed or even a casket because someone allowed their emotions to get the best of them. I would venture to say too many. That's why it's so important for us to embrace our feelings without judging ourselves or beating ourselves up for having them, while simultaneously controlling them and keeping them in check...internally as well as who we allow to affect us externally. The strength is in knowing WE have the power and not our circumstance.

Peace and love.

What having COVID-19 showed me.

Standing outside a north New Jersey hospital fighting a fever while enduring chest pains on a forty degree, wet, dreary Monday morning near the American epicenter of an unprecedented global pandemic can put life in a totally new perspective. "Six feet apart, please!" being yelled by the brutish doorman repeatedly is a phrase in a tone I won't soon forget. I'd never seen tents full of people connected to a hospital before. This shit is DIFFERENT.

Of course, I'm on edge. I'd been experiencing sharp pains on the left side of my chest for a couple days and had a million thoughts running through my head as to why. The possibilities seemed endless...especially after consulting the infamous WebMD. I knew I'd be taking a risk by going to the emergency room in a climate with such a contagious virus looming, but I guess I'd rather risk it than do nothing and something catastrophic happen by the time it's too late. So I stood there shivering in the cold wondering what's next. While I waited to be checked in I noticed some things. The people around me were stumbling and staggering, coughing profusely, seeming drained of energy and stamina. I watched as wheelchair after wheelchair went into what seemed like Fort Knox...the hospital entrance. Everyone, wearing masks and gloves, seemed to be moving in slow motion. I noticed a woman in her upper 50's coughing violently while leaning up against a gate looking totally dejected. Doctors and nurses were moving frantically with solemn looks on their faces.Everyone is scared. Nobody here is safe. "Six feet apart, please!"

It was at that very moment that I contemplated the entire American healthcare system. Being the proud cynic I am, I began reevaluating the purpose and intents of big pharma. I mean, let's not sugar coat it. It's all about the almighty dollar...the Benjamins. Every transaction is rooted in shady for-profit businesses and insurance companies overcharging desperately ill citizens for meds that do not directly cure anything, dancing the greenback boogie in private while publicly selling the grand illusion that the betterment and safety of the American people come first. Lies. If that were the case then the actual test for the COVID-19 virus would be free whether a person is insured or not. But it isn't...even close. The notion that even during an economic shut down in which workers are being laid off by the thousands, 90% of people are quarantining (the other 10% are extremely disturbing), and the number of deaths due to the coronavirus is skyrocketing, an actual dollar amount has to be paid just to find out if you've got it. What about those who are homeless, between jobs or just plain broke and have no health insurance? If the goal is really to flatten the curve and save lives, shouldn't they be tested for free?

There's obviously not enough resources for the overflow of patients who are suffering. Why else would there be a line of feverish people winding around the street corner of a hospital parking lot? So, if there's a shortage of resources, who gets chosen? It's like an evil game of musical chairs being played with hospital beds and medical supplies. Once the music stops, someone's bound to be literally left in the cold.

The look of fear in the eyes of the doctor as he walked intently into the tent, protected in his all white body suit, sweating frantically as he stuttered and stammered to say my vitals and heart rate were decent and that I was "mmm-much much safer at home than in THERE (pointing toward the hospital door)" gave me all the get out of dodge vibes I needed to head out expeditiously. Wow! As loud, piercing coughs permeated the tent, I thought to myself, he really doesn't know what to do, and since I'm not totally falling apart, he really doesn't have time to care. The only option he sees is to push me out of this environment as quickly as possible after testing me (he'll bill me later), tell me to hope for the best, and to only come back if it gets unbearably worse. Talk about a really weird evaluation. This shit is DIFFERENT.

After a week of excruciating headaches, waking up in cold sweats with chills, exhaustion, nausea, unyielding fever, stiffness in my lungs, and an overall nervousness from not knowing what's truly wrong, I received a call informing me I had tested positive for COVID-19. Damn. No real, in-depth instructions or information. Just an "are you having trouble breathing? No? Well then hopefully you'll be fine waiting it out". That's it.

I thought to myself how fortunate and blessed I am to have a strong enough immune system and set of lungs to handle such an aggressive infection. I recapped how often I'd washed my hands, wiped everything in sight down with disinfectant wipes, carried hand sanitizer and obsessively whipped it out after touching any door handle and/or object. I thought about the handshakes I had avoided, the hugs I'd shied away from and all the times I'd refused to even leave home.
After all of that, I still got it.

America is a place where people take pride in our freedom to come and go as we please. Some are even entitled enough in their thinking to ignore the authorities calling for all to stay at home. But the concept that's getting lost in this defiance is that our healthcare system is not constructed to handle a nationwide crisis. It's structured to make a profit. When seeking profit, a sound business firm will do its best to avoid overhead expenses as much as possible. So spending money on things like hiring and training extra workers, building extra spaces, and manufacturing extra equipment "just in case" are not only non-priorities, but there's a concerted effort made to never do so. And that simple fact doesn't bode well for masses of people at risk to such a uniquely contagious virus the medical world is ill-prepared to tackle. The trickle down effect is bound to leave those in the economic lower class in shambles, if not for dead.

So the concept of social distancing isn't just some inconveniencing way to personally avoid getting sick. It's the most viable method of giving our healthcare system and the government it depends on to support it the time it so desperately needs to restructure itself into a form of what it should have always been since day one...a system built to prioritize lives over money. Otherwise, there will be millions more feverishly endangered patients lined up outside their local hospitals awaiting their fate enduring the same coarsely yelled phrase..."Six feet apart, please!"