Filtering by Tag: Just Win

Emotions... & How They Affect Our Realities.

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It's crazy how emotions fluctuate based on circumstance. We can receive one negative text and feel like life is tragic, then receive a compliment ten seconds later and it change our entire mood to feel like life's not bad at all.

Because of this peculiar effect, it's extremely important that we as humans encourage and lend kind words to others on a consistent basis. I say the word "lend" specifically because relationships of any kind should be reciprocal. It's just as imperative that we surround ourselves with people who lend us encouraging words as well. Creating an environment in which we instill reassurance, amping each other up to be our best selves can yield positive emotions, confidence and boldness in us all, which ultimately aid us in maintaining energetic, motivated attitudes and making solid life decisions.

The opposite is just as true. Allowing people to remain in our inner circles who devalue and degrade us triggering our negative emotions can lead us down a path of self-doubt lined with thoughts of giving up. My heart goes out to children trapped in environments where they rarely receive positive reinforcement or any form of advocacy for that matter, but instead receive words of hostility and resentment. That abuse too often causes bitterness and emotional trauma resulting in what is perceived as "bad" behavior. But ironically this is no different than how we adults respond to complete and utter bullshit. And it needs to be recognized instead of being downplayed. I mean, really, think about it. How can we thoroughly assess someone else's pain perception from the outside looking in? Impossible.

Understanding that our reality is the result of our environment whether positive or negative is only half of the equation. One of my many basketball coaches used to constantly reiterate to us players that "10% of life is what you go through. The other 90% is how you handle it". I'm not sure how accurate those numbers are, but I got the gist. The other side of the coin from how our environment influences our emotions is how WE handle our emotions apart from any outside influences. What happens when we're put in pressure situations, our support systems aren't around and the negativity just won't shut up? Do we cave in and allow negative emotions to take control, trigger our insecurities and cause us to make moves we'll ultimately regret? Or do we speak words of encouragement, peace and love into our own spirits allowing our minds to unlock themselves and strategize our way through it? Our choice.

In order to achieve the internal fortitude needed to control and channel our emotions in a healthy way we must create a firm foundation for our thoughts to stand on. Don't get me wrong. Emotions are extremely valuable and should be treated as such, but they are what we affectionately (or in my case, unaffectionately) refer to as "bandwagon fans". We all know 'em. Whatever team in a given sport is winning consistently, that's THEIR team. Emotions are similar in that whatever energy, good or bad, is thriving at the time, that's THEIR team. If someone gives us a lousy evaluation at our job or a poor grade in school, negative emotions usually show up with face paint and posters. If we receive a promotion at our job or an A in class, positive emotions likely show up just as hyped.

The point is, though emotions are highly valuable, they aren't meant to be leaders. Making decisions based on them rather than our thought processes is no different than treating a harmful infection based solely on the symptoms it causes. Pain medicines may reduce headache and cough drops may reduce cough, but they won't kill the infection. Only anti-bodies will. Emotions are symptoms, there to remind us something is right or wrong. But the solution to problematic ones isn't in catering solely to the symptoms. It's in getting to the root of the problem, then strategizing to solve it, which are spiritual and mental tasks.

I wonder how many people are sitting in a penitentiary cell today simply for having one specific moment they didn't handle their emotions well...or how many people lay in a hospital bed or even a casket because someone allowed their emotions to get the best of them. I would venture to say too many. That's why it's so important for us to embrace our feelings without judging ourselves or beating ourselves up for having them, while simultaneously controlling them and keeping them in check...internally as well as who we allow to affect us externally. The strength is in knowing WE have the power and not our circumstance.

Peace and love.